maven.

You watch me like a fire

And I rise in the moon for it

Lighting you all-true-blue

Darling, say you’re staying

We are resonating now

Like panther claws

& sweet ivy

All the pain I’ve bottled up

Grabs your heart like drowning

Nothing that matters is

Almost with you

All these baby stems & a tragedy

I, the maven, of bittersweet.

(Excerpt from "A Crowded Place" by Amy Fairweather)

You happened upon me that day

Though in the distance, you stood out

As beautiful familiarity often does

Like fish caught up inside a stream

We were trapped in the crowd

I smiled in surprise

You barely smiled back and shifted your gaze

You could not look at me, not solely

You sent a considerate nod

And then moved through the throng

To somewhere

Anywhere but near me, it seemed

And that was all

You had nothing I ever imagined for me...

 

 

 

There were mornings

When the sun would shine through

My window like a glass gate

I’d turn to my side

And feel the day to be

Like a sea of first breath

Now evening falls in a perched land

I lie in bed like a fish hook

And there, I see him again

A man waits for my lights return

A boy says he loves me like fresh earth in my arms

My heart is a box of letters

Threaded to a violet star

This star is your little heart

A moonlit whisper, a satin string,

A bed of Queen Anne’s lacing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(i'm four months pregnant

- thank you Jesus)

no time. 

Should I discover you

In by and bys

Marking up my skin

Pulling roots to own the earth

Within these wintry hands

A ballerina shall turn again

Near my fading gravity

Should I simply run so far

To exhale my very agony

Like black smoke from a

Rusted train 

Taking up the sky

Finding a bluebird’s heart

As she soars like a ribbon, leading to you

Should I ever be found

Apart from this world

Like a divided locket

Dangling near the sea

Wondering on things that will

Never, ever be

Let me live this way!

For I have a broken heart

-        I have a broken heart

don't they know they can not

fix it?

This wound will never heal

But for resting.

gone.

Gone.

You are gone

Though I always swore you would not be

& then you’d look at me

Your eyes as tired as every

Sleepless night you suffered &

Every poison that traced your veins

You’d tell me that you hoped that I

Was right.

You’re gonna get better.

I would say

& always from you, I hope so.

I had enough optimism for the both of us

& now that aches the matter even more

In some strange way, I feel like a liar

Oh you are joyous & free, I know.

But I wanted to see you better here.

To acquire the body you deserved back

To dine happily in nodding laughter

To rest in your dwelling, cozy splendor

To set out in your boat neath a

Flickering cleared sun

Your heart shouting joy!

The battle is won!

& like catching two lost summers

You would be gone for days

But now you are gone forever

& that hurts just like it sounds

I’ve stopped trying to understand.

I will miss you. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

dedicated to my brother Mark, who battled cancer for two years and just when it seemed like all was about to be well, he was gone- august 24, 2011. 

one day i will see you again.

 There is a shadow over my heart now

A tide that once turned round

My ankles like spooling the soul

Now moves me off the sand

Backwards, sick & somber

Impossible-ness is

Happening

The sort that aches & mystifies

Old summer sounds sift thru

The screen like I could run out &

Touch them & all this emptiness would

Gather itself inside a diary

Tucked away, no matter

Oh this dismal news, like fog

Lift & let him stay!

& in belled fields I will wander

Far & happy. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

image

what once was loved.

She has a mind for corners

& dying cigarettes

Half bent on the grass

Like an archway to the bees

Swollen- trotted

it’s always-something

she calls on him

& hears his voice

Though never sees his face

Her finger laces the air

She moans – I’m such a liar!

The deer scatter, a window opens

The sun setting like it’s broken.

august nothing.

August nothing.

I will come back to you

Like English tea

Staining the cuff of your business shirt

Resembling a puddle neath

An insipid light

You will turn ever so slight

To see if I am there

& of course, I will not be

But my tousled spirit

Shall set you chin-down consumed

As I am far away

Behind a fog drift window

Near yellow-pink chrysanthemums

Lifting their chins to dear me it all

For it is much too late to not know

Some things certainly

Love plays like sunlit chords

-        When it ends, you are either inspired or

Long to be dead.

Puppet shows are for children, yes?

evening eighty seven.

a collection.

Heart Drumming by amy fairweather | Make Your Own Book

i have finished another collection
entitled heart drumming

this is a small preview. 

xo

a wish.

 

a wish

 Inside this life of yours and mine

I can not wish for anything more

Except for the very thing of it

- More

like love.

Like love.

I waited for you, like love

Pastel pink cheek bones

Fast beating heart

A songbird in my palm

I knew you would come soon

Clean shaven jaw

Strong collected hands

A nod under the most dissimilar bough    

We came together knowingly

Foggy woods opening to a

Sunlit lake of pattering blue

Trees leaning with the wind

And you

Leaning in to me

Pressing your heart to mine

Potent

Parallel

Forever.

midnight & often.

Things are scrambled now

Like a wild haunting fire

& burning ever the same

Nothing winds down while

Holding on so tightly

Flowers named Jenny

Look like us neath the moon

When we were twisted & bright

In black waters.

Let us sail this sea, no harboring.

ascending june.

I no longer wish to be your girl

There, I said it

So frisk-it as you may with her

& lie smartly under the stars like such a man

I am sure you will tell her those things

That you always said were just for me

& she will believe it all

Why wouldn’t she, you’re such a

Good-good boy.

Go on now.

Fish for things in rhythmic lakes

You always were fond of the sound

You do look sweeter neath the sun

When you turn your head to view something

You squint and smirk and say such marvelous twaddle

Oh! I love it all

Or, perhaps I did.

But now, I really, no longer do.

Flowers, pennies, stars, how are these plagues for the heart?

a hundred sparrows.

I have almost left this town, many times

I have packed my bags full of

Everything I see, except to leave one bit of me

On the window sill for you to find

To press against your heart and wonder

Where I am, like pleading...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

photo&excerpt copyrighted by me

jane.

 

...do you stand there, so close

to my silhouette

Like a ghost, (you let)

Do you ever ache with my cheek to yours

with a sound by your door

And you smile a smile that no one knows

And can not see

A happiness held by me...

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

photo and poem copyrighted by me

it's a strange thing.

 

 it's a strange thing.

if she dances like that tomorrow

-        you will love her

yes, you will

and I will reside on a patchwork

floor with a bowl of grapes

and a vase of daises

rolling my eyes in the tragedy of it all

if she leaves you be, for days

-        you will want me

yes, you will

& I will run far-far away

over the yellow washed field

but only for you to catch me

& jitter out your terrible excuses

like an alley cat to the fair maiden

if she calls on you, after that

and you love her

(if you do)

- I will wonder why again

cry too hard to let you know

& then I’ll let you go

and if you never understand

& come around to ask me why

i’ll only sigh & smile

as a wrench drives in my side

& tell you love never works this way

& set out to find a life of days

- for always, without you. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

photo & poem copyrighted by me, amy fairweather.

summer.

summer.

Summer has just begun

& there are sailboats in your eyes

Stony roads to tall-tall trees

Animals scurrying to the brushed heavens

Gardenia letters

Silver hearts

Vanilla on you, darling

Jars of sparks

Ghosts of lovers

Hot memory attics trace

- All sand 

~~~~~~~~~~~

photo & poem copyrighted by me.

~~~~~~~~xo~~~~~~~~~~~

potentially yours.

 

what is missed? if running to get you.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

photo.

change my mind

change my mind.

Haunt me this evening

Stand below the

Every light

Skim past my side

When he takes my hand

Whisper to me your

Sense – infuse me

With reflective - ness

Be the king upon my card

Mouthing our escape

Take me to the

Summit of us 

Make me see you, implore! 

Convince me you need me - more!

I swear I shall close my notion

He is but a stream substituting

Your ocean

Oh love

- If only you’d fight

For me. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

photo copyrighted by me
poem copyrighted in collection by me

pretty things.

Pretty things.

 You fill me with such pretty things

Your watercolor eyes, do fall

You seek to tell me what you wish

And one by one, I want it all 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

photo copyrighted by me

poem copyrighted by me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

source

mere rose.

 

Mere Rose

Mere rose, soft flower, you came so sweetly

Set on a table, profound and neatly

I lifted you high as I spun in fond laughter

But to my quickened eye, long tears followed after

My hand holds you still, but now, not the same

Tightly wound in despair, upon reading her name

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

photograph here

poetry copyrighted by me

your memory.

your memory.

Rummaging through old and

New seasons

Throwing kisses upon

My sleep

Folding up my fragile smile

Reflecting in waters as tranquil

As I can not stand

Forever and never webbed in

An old haunted tree  

Seeping your voice inside

Quiet halls where old lovers

Dance to scattered prose

Pouring trails of snowflakes

Upon July grass

To slip me up for

The summer

Standing still and

Completely clear

In the zooming past of

Everywhere. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

photograph here

poetry copyrighted by me here