gone.

Gone.

You are gone

Though I always swore you would not be

& then you’d look at me

Your eyes as tired as every

Sleepless night you suffered &

Every poison that traced your veins

You’d tell me that you hoped that I

Was right.

You’re gonna get better.

I would say

& always from you, I hope so.

I had enough optimism for the both of us

& now that aches the matter even more

In some strange way, I feel like a liar

Oh you are joyous & free, I know.

But I wanted to see you better here.

To acquire the body you deserved back

To dine happily in nodding laughter

To rest in your dwelling, cozy splendor

To set out in your boat neath a

Flickering cleared sun

Your heart shouting joy!

The battle is won!

& like catching two lost summers

You would be gone for days

But now you are gone forever

& that hurts just like it sounds

I’ve stopped trying to understand.

I will miss you. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

dedicated to my brother Mark, who battled cancer for two years and just when it seemed like all was about to be well, he was gone- august 24, 2011. 

one day i will see you again.